Despite the warm apple pie provided by the Krindles, I still have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Although the bank in town appeared to be undefended, the frail old women that were behind the counters seemed to be measuring me up. And I would swear the blind one with the glasses winked at me.
In any case, I have ordered the replacement gene sequencer and the economy-pack of test tubes for my new lab. There are only a few rats down here, but I plan to order some from the pet store to boost their numbers.
Perhaps they can be my new army of minions, instead of the ridiculous rejects I received from Hire-a-Comrade last year. They barely spoke English, tried to give me a cough drop every time I began an evil laugh, and I swear they put bleach in my cloning vat.
Anyhow, I shall soon rise to power again, and become a force to be reckoned with. Until then, I shall finish my apple pie.
In the Name of Evil Everywhere,
-Dr. von Vandersnitch
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Curses! Foiled again!
The blasted Mr. Awesome has foiled me for the last time! He has destroyed my precious lair, and forced me to hide here in this insignificant town! But my revenge will come; Oh yes, I will make him suffer for my humiliation, and crush him like an ant beneath my boot! For I am none other then the famous Dr. von Vandersnitch, 5 time winner of "Crackpot of the Year," and I can never be defeated!
Anyhow, sorry about the monologue. It's required to monologue at least one to three times a week after a major defeat by the nemesis, according to Chapter 4 Paragraph II(c) of the Evil Genius Handbook.
Blasted Dr. Awesome... He could search any of the giant-skull-shaped volcano islands in the Atlantic, but noooo, he has to come and ruin MINE! Sir Sinister, the Black Eye, even Master Luze have volcanic islands nearby, but he always manages to airdrop onto my island every time...
It's not even like I made a personal grievance against him: I haven't shot his daughter/wife/girlfriend/friend with benefits, and I haven't even publicly challenged him in the last two months! He just likes beating up my flying dogs and hitting the control panels until something explodes.
And speaking of which, I need to order my new desktop computer from a non-evil retailer. Villains 'R Us computers works great, look nice, and are affordable, but the lack of an encryption ability, the requirement to be hooked into the base fusion system, and the annoying tendency to activate the self-destruct if mashed, shot, or if you enter the password wrong three times in a row has me seriously considering Best Buy and Target. Ah well...
The new landlords, Mr. and Mrs. Krindle, are naive and harmless enough, but this room is tiny, and lacks the pleasing shiny chrome of the last lair. In addition, shipping rates out here are highway robbery (I should know...), and the Mad Scientist Depot managed to break half of the glassware they sent out here with my new lab equipment. They act like beakers and test tubes grow on trees! I'm still working on growing floral silicates, but it's a ridiculous expectation.
In any case, the funds are running low, and I shall have to see where the nearest bank vaults and money depositories are in this hamlet. Hopefully they will yield green and papery fruit. Until next time...
In the name of Evil Everywhere, Sincerely Yours
-Dr. von Vandersnitch
Anyhow, sorry about the monologue. It's required to monologue at least one to three times a week after a major defeat by the nemesis, according to Chapter 4 Paragraph II(c) of the Evil Genius Handbook.
Blasted Dr. Awesome... He could search any of the giant-skull-shaped volcano islands in the Atlantic, but noooo, he has to come and ruin MINE! Sir Sinister, the Black Eye, even Master Luze have volcanic islands nearby, but he always manages to airdrop onto my island every time...
It's not even like I made a personal grievance against him: I haven't shot his daughter/wife/girlfriend/friend with benefits, and I haven't even publicly challenged him in the last two months! He just likes beating up my flying dogs and hitting the control panels until something explodes.
And speaking of which, I need to order my new desktop computer from a non-evil retailer. Villains 'R Us computers works great, look nice, and are affordable, but the lack of an encryption ability, the requirement to be hooked into the base fusion system, and the annoying tendency to activate the self-destruct if mashed, shot, or if you enter the password wrong three times in a row has me seriously considering Best Buy and Target. Ah well...
The new landlords, Mr. and Mrs. Krindle, are naive and harmless enough, but this room is tiny, and lacks the pleasing shiny chrome of the last lair. In addition, shipping rates out here are highway robbery (I should know...), and the Mad Scientist Depot managed to break half of the glassware they sent out here with my new lab equipment. They act like beakers and test tubes grow on trees! I'm still working on growing floral silicates, but it's a ridiculous expectation.
In any case, the funds are running low, and I shall have to see where the nearest bank vaults and money depositories are in this hamlet. Hopefully they will yield green and papery fruit. Until next time...
In the name of Evil Everywhere, Sincerely Yours
-Dr. von Vandersnitch
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